Posts tagged ‘Mother’

February 6, 2011

Chronicles of the Monsters In-Law: Mommy Dearest

by bye2mrwrong

The fact that a woman carries a child for 9 months in her womb entitles her with the label mommy. But it says nothing about what kind of mom she really is.

I know most people have problems with their in-laws, so you wouldn’t expect me to say anything good about mine. But this wasn’t my case. I never had any problems with my mother-in-law, or how she treated me. We had our moments of fun. But I always resented how she treated the men in her life especially my husband. At times I blame her for who he has become today. After all how can you become a stable man, if you had an unstable childhood? How can you become loving, if you were never taught to love? How can you become trusting, if your role model always lied?

Mommy dearest never read a single book to her children, or sang them a lullaby. She didn’t sit with them to do their homework, or teach them the morals of life.

Her love for my husband’s brother, her “baby”, was always evident and caused unhealthy jealousy and rivalry between the two brothers. While she paid for one to get his driver’s license she did not pay for the other. While she let one stay at home till the age of 25 (when he was ready to leave), she kicked out the other at the age of 17 despite his rent payments. While she treated one like a baby who always needed support and compassion, she treated the other like a street-dog who could manage on his own.

This witch, narcissistic and full of self-love, used everyone around her for her own benefit. She could spend money on herself and her own indulgences, but let her son starve because he had his own money. Selfish and egoistic, she put herself and her hobbies (one of which included having affairs) first and foremost even before her kids. She had an affair on the father with their mutual friend, an affair which split up the family once he found out. And then she had an affair on the affair. This was an affair that lasted for years and years and was subsidized by none other than her partner himself. She would take his hard-earned cash and spend it on a trip for herself to some “so-called” family member on the other side of the world; anything to please herself and get away from her daily chores. But when her partner decided he too was entitled to have an affair of his own, she went crazy and forced him to marry her for financial security.

This man, now her current husband is a dull man. Not sexy, not funny, not interesting. His biggest mistake was having an affair with mommy dearest while she was still married.  So when her husband left her, he was stuck with her and with her two difficult sons. I don’t know how he was at the time, but I can see how through the years he became frustrated with his life. He had wanted children of his own, but she didn’t want more than the two she already had. He wanted a woman who would participate in supporting the household income, something she never got around to but only managed to spend. He compromised on a woman who cleaned the home…but once a week with her 9 cats and lots of junk and clatter meant that it never really looked or smelled clean.

When I met him he was nice, a bit flirty for an older man. But when I did not give my full attention to him; he quickly became disgruntled and would no longer speak to me unless I spoke to him.  Suddenly he refused to speak English and only made my incentive to speak to him even less.

As a man he is quite moody. If he was a woman I would say he has PMS all year round. One day in a great humorous mood, and the next so angry and recluse you could not even say hello to him without feeling you may have said something wrong. If this is how he always was, there is no wonder that the children never treated him as a father and the four of them never became what I would call a family.

December 26, 2010

Happy Christmas-Birthday MOM!

by bye2mrwrong

Christmas is the time of year to be with the one you love, a time to be with family. It’s one of those holidays that everyone wants to feel the love, to give and share it.  It’s the time of year that people let their guard down and become unselfish and good even if just for a few days.

Here it’s been snowing like crazy with no signs of stopping and suddenly people have become generous and helpful. Something you don’t see so often any more.  So when cars are stuck in the snow, and wheels are spinning hopelessly, random strangers will get out of their car to help push. It’s amazing…LET IT SNOW!

But for me it’s not just Christmas. My great-grandmother was born on the 24th R.I.P. Her daughter, my grandmother was born on the 25th. And her daughter, my mother, was born on the 26th – that’s TODAY. So we have quite some family celebrations.

My mother has always been my best friend. We can talk for hours about everything and nothing. Or we can be silent together and still understand each other. We go shopping together, we get dressed up together before going out, and we swap clothes. When we go out people ask us if we’re sisters, which is a compliment for both of us. For her it makes her feel younger; for me this is the woman I want to look like. I want to talk like. I want to BE!

She is the reason I always wanted to have a daughter. So my daughter can have with me, what I have with my mom. This is the woman who has stood by me through thick and thin. Through every crush, every break up, and every broken heart (especially this one), she wiped away my tears. She made me strong when I was weak, and lifted my spirits when I was sad. She picked me up when I fell, and kissed my bruises until they healed.

She has always been my role model. This is the woman I idealize. She’s smart, and funny. She’s beautiful and strong. She’s a great business woman, wife and mother. She’s a great judge of character, full of wisdom and knowledge.  She’s a great listener, and good advisor. She’s caring and generous and the best cook ever.

So not being home this year, not for the holidays or my mother’s birthday, and also not having my husband around means I’M DREAMING TONIGHT OF A PLACE I LOVE. I feel that once again I miss out on another celebration, another family occasion, another lost day in the life of a loved one… WHAT A CHRISTMAS TO HAVE THE BLUES!

I DON’T WANT A LOT FOR CHRISTMAS,there is just one thing I need.  I don’t care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree…I just want to be with my mom, my dad, my FAMILY!

To all the other lonely hearts out there… HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS!

December 19, 2010

Family Secrets

by bye2mrwrong

You don’t introduce your secret lover to your brother when you’re still busy screwing her, right? WRONG!

So now that SHE was dating the brother, I had no other choice but to see her. She was now part of the family. And while my husband was never close to his brother before, their relationship suddenly blossomed, and surely enough we were spending lots of time together: movies, restaurants, Christmas dinners and New Years.

Ugh….The thought that I had hosted her, that I served her drinks, that I shared a few girly moments with her, still disgusts me. The thought that while we talked, she told me countless lies to cover up the truth, angers me.  And the thought that we shared my bed and my husband, still cannot leave my mind.

But back tracking to when I was still clueless…. even though she was dating the brother, and I shouldn’t have felt threatened, there was something wrong. I could feel it in the pit of my stomach. It seemed like every two minutes my husband was getting SOS phone calls from either his brother or her to help them save their new yet rocky relationship. No one kept me in the loop, something about TRUST issues, something with her past relationship(s). To be honest I wasn’t interested. I was just waiting for it to fall apart.

But when the phone calls became more frequent and my husband was spending more time at their place fixing their relationship rather than at home with me… I was getting quite annoyed. And when he ended up joining them on a week trip to her parents I was more than a little irritated. I was infuriated and flabbergasted. Why in the world would the brother want my husband to hold his hand as he met her folks for the first time? And why would she want my husband to be there, as she introduced her new boyfriend. And for the life of me I couldn’t understand why my husband would want to be the third wheel?

Little did I know what the problem was in their relationship that demanded my husband’s constant attention, mentoring and advice. It was only later that I discovered that the problems occurred when the brother found out about the affair those two had or were still having, a SECRET that was then kept in the family.

But since my husband has always been a good persuader, he managed to confuse his brother, blur his vision, distort the truth and manipulate him. He promised that what had happened was in the past and convinced him that it was over (otherwise why would he have introduced those two to each other). So the brother despite all the signs and signals staring him in the face, and due to his own weak personality preferred to pull the veil back down, close his eyes once again, forgive and continue on this rocky road.

Needless to say my husband did NOT mange to confuse me. As the signs became more evident so did my need to find the truth. Secrets are made to be found out with time, and as I continued to search I discovered that the affair that was supposedly over a few months ago was still happening, behind his brother’s back and mine; and with the encouragement and support of their mother (who is a story of her own).

What a family?