Posts tagged ‘Karma’

May 10, 2011

Karma or Luck

by bye2mrwrong

Karma can be
the wisest teacher
the harshest punisher
and the most beautiful reward

“According to the seed that’s sown,
So is the fruit you reap there from,
Doer of good will gather good,
Doer of evil, evil reaps,
Down is the seed and thou shalt taste
The fruit thereof.”

 

 So many people are telling me to believe in karma. The stars will align and the eventually karma will catch up with him. What goes around comes around”. I’ve been waiting for karma to show its true face and for the universe to balance out, waiting for my good deeds to be rewarded, and for his bad deeds to be punished. But if I am to believe in karma then I have to trust that I must have done something bad in order to deserve this bad karma that has been bestowed upon me. And OK let’s say that is the case, is my bad Karma gone now? Have I paid my dues? Should I expect good Karma now?

Hmmm… I’m not really sure about any of this. I don’t know what to believe in anymore. God, Stars, Astrology, Fate, Destiny, Good Karma, Bad Karma or maybe just plain old Luck

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January 26, 2011

Sweet Revenge (Part II)

by bye2mrwrong

One of my co-bloggers wrote that “If another woman steals your man, the best revenge is to let her keep him.” While I’m not sure how I feel about this, maybe it is the best revenge. Maybe my husband, his brother and the mistress/slut are on the same level, and therefore deserve each other.

My husband has been looking quite bad lately. Actually I think he looks a bit like a terrorist these days. He’s become super skinny (with no woman to cook for him), he shaved off his beautiful golden hair which I loved so much (most likely to spite me), and he’s grown this long, dark heavy beard (just because he can’t bother to take care of himself and no one else seems to).

Actually I say this, but the fact of the matter is that I haven’t seen him for over a month. I know he comes home sometimes to pick up the mail; but he always does it when I’m not around. I think it has something to do with the guilt. Or at least that’s what I would like to believe.

Last night I heard that it’s over. The brother has dumped the slut and has asked her to leave his house this week. I can’t help but wonder what happened. Has the awful truth finally come out? Did he find out the child is not his? Did he catch her cheating? Has he just had enough of this twisted threesome? And what happens now? Will she keep the baby? And who will take responsibility for it?

I’m not sure how I feel about this all. On the one hand I am a bit upset. Upset because it seems almost a shame that my 10 years have been wasted and are lost, for this one-year, short-lived, and terribly agonizing relationship they had. I want to just scream at both the brothers: Was she worth it? A part of me would even prefer that they would endure this miserable relationship, full of lies and deceit, a bit longer.

But on the other hand I am pleased; pleased that this distorted relationship has crashed in their face, and will be their downfall. That now as the truth comes out, and eyes are beginning to open, this family will be torn apart by their own doing. For so long it has been me who has been falling apart. Finally I can sit back and watch them come undone. I wonder if this is karma beginning to show its face, if this is the taste of sweet revenge?!

January 13, 2011

Wasted Time

by bye2mrwrong

In our lives there are many moments when we wait. As kids we wait to go to big school, we wait to get a bike without training wheels; we wait for our turn on the computer, or in line for a roller coaster ride. We wait impatiently to be chosen for a team in sports class and hope we won’t get picked last, we wait for our exam results and pray to God we passed. We wait for our dinner to be ready as our stomach makes growling sounds, and most of all we wait to grow up.

As teens we wait for our life to begin, we wait for people to treat us like the adults we believe we are. We wait to get our driver’s license, we wait for a phone call from that special someone we have a crush on, and above all we wait to be at a legal drinking age so that the real fun can start.

And as adults we keep on waiting. We wait for a reaction to that resume we sent in last week, or for a work meeting to start. We wait for a friend to show up and get a bit annoyed when they are late yet again, and we wait to meet our soul mate. We wait, we hope, we dream, and we look back at what we left behind.

But is our time so invaluable, so un-precious, that we should spend it waiting? What if it’s all just wasted time? What are we really waiting for? Shouldn’t we learn from the past and look to the future, seize the day, and make things happen instead of waiting for faith, or destiny to strike?!

For the past year my life has been a waiting game. While everyone’s life around me continues; friends are getting promotions, changing jobs, getting engaged, having babies, and meeting new loves; my life has been on hold, worse, it has come to a complete stop.

I’m so sick of it, so tired of waiting. I see the lines underneath my eyes (is that tiredness or depression?), the wrinkles in my face; and the white hairs starting to show. And I hear that biological clock tick away as it realizes that it is now further than ever from what just yesterday seemed so close by. I’m tired of fighting with my own demons, tired of crying, tired of feeling sorry for myself. I’m tired of being angry at everyone around me and tired of worrying that it’s all been wasted time.

And that’s exactly what I feel; it’s what I’m afraid of. My life wasted away even more as I wait for something no longer under my control. Waiting for the divorce to go through, for signatures to be signed, and inventory to be appraised. Waiting for a reaction from my lawyer, or a reaction from his. Waiting for the tears to stop falling, and the pain to go away. Waiting for karma to show its true face and for the universe to balance out. Waiting for my good deeds to be rewarded, and for his bad deeds to be punished. I am waiting until I can stop my mind from wondering what I left behind, and from worrying ’bout this wasted time.

“Well baby, there you stand, With your little head down in your hand. Oh my god, you can’t believe it’s happening again. Your baby’s gone and you’re all alone, and it looks like the end. You’re back out on the street. And you’re trying to remember. How will you start it over? You don’t know if you can. You don’t care much for a stranger’s touch, but you can’t hold your man. You never thought you’d be alone this far down the line.  And I know what’s been on your mind. You’re afraid it’s all been wasted time. The autumn leaves have got you thinking. About the first time that you fell. You didn’t love the boy too much. You just loved the boy to well. So you live from day-to-day. And you dream about tomorrow. And the hours go by like minutes, and the shadows come to stay. So you take a little something to make them go away. And I could have done so many things, baby. If I could only stop my mind. From wondering what I left behind. And from worrying ’bout this wasted time. Another love has come and gone. And the years keep rushing on. I remember what you told me before you went out on your own: ’Sometimes to keep it together, we got to leave it alone’. So you can get on with your search, baby. And I can get on with mine. And maybe someday we will find,That it wasn’t really wasted time.” The Eagles