Posts tagged ‘Happiness’

December 31, 2011

Erase and Rewind

by bye2mrwrong

If only I had a control button, I would press pause, rewind, erase and DELETE. Or maybe I would just capture a few segments and change them. So what was my year in rewind: Discovery day, psychology SOS, trying to mend a broken marriage, spying on the other woman, spying on the husband, becoming secretive, breaking down, flying back home, he follows but gives up, I fly back to find more lies, I leave again, a decision is made to divorce, the birth of a blog, exhaustion, insomnia, drinking the nights away, faking it, wildly dancing, dating again, falling in love, flying for love, double trouble, mending a broken heart, re-immigrating, leaving it all behind, starting anew.

So yes I’m erasing the past and starting chapter 2 in my so-called life. Because “If at first you don’t succeed – destroy all evidence that you tried”.

“Have you ever wondered what it would be like to wake up in a fantasy? We spend our lives trying to turn the FANTASY into REALITY. And who is to say we’re wrong for wanting our days to glitter and shine? For wanting our lives to feel like a dream that never ends? Trade fantasy for reality and you might feel like Alice back from Wonderland. The world may not sparkle and shine, but the ground will be solid beneath your feet. And your eyes will be open to all the adventures that lie waiting for you, right here in the real world!”

So what do I want my life to look like fast forward? I already know…and I think if you’ve read any of my posts you do too. I just hope that this time I don’t fall straight back into the rabbit hole. No fantasies for this girl, just a few resolutions to start the year: To get over it, to leave the past behind, and to be happy. Do things that make me happy and be with people who make me happy. That shouldn’t be too hard to achieve. So lets give it a try. Here’s to a brand new year full of happiness!

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November 25, 2011

Because I’m Worth It!

by bye2mrwrong

“Everyone goes their own path. Some are just beginning while others end all too soon.  The path you’re on, the choices you make, they define who you are.

Choices, they are the building blocks of our lives. They shape our past, present and future.

Every new day brings with it new choices and a whole new world of possibilities.

Recently I was told that it’s time to start anew, to walk a new path, to build a new life. To reflect on everything that happened and figure out what I’ve learned. To apologize to the people I’ve wronged for hurting them, and then to apologize to myself for hurting me. For letting myself down, for belittling myself, for believing I didn’t have any worth.

Most importantly I was told it was time to decide what changes I would like to make in myself, and then make them. But as much as the idea sounds simple at the same time it is so hard to grasp. What are the changes that I want to make? The question still overwhelms me and the only thing I can think of is how much I just want to be happy. That’s the change I want to make.

But how do I do that when I’m not even sure what has prevented me from being happy? No one is really standing in my way. No one but myself. Only my own thoughts and fears have kept me from moving forward. My own choices have prevented me from letting go of the past and the pain that comes with it. It has been my stubbornness that has kept me holding on so tightly to something that no longer exists. To a memory, of a past that once was; to that illusion of the future that never will be. To a ring that keeps me bonded to him.

So after thinking hard about this, staring at my reflection, and digging layer after layer, I’ve realized that what I want to change is the way I view myself. My worth, my value, me. I realized that when I get flattered by someone for something I’ve done, or sometimes even for just who I am, I usually say “thanks but….” Or l humbly laugh the remark away. But it’s not the humbleness that has pushed flattery aside, it’s the lack of self worth, lack of confidence in me. I never see myself as gorgeous, just pretty. I never think of myself as genius, just smart. I never believe I have unique qualities, just regular ones like any other person. I never think I’ll exceed, just succeed. I never think I’m remarkable, just average. I never think I’m better, just good. So I’ve decided what I want is respect. For myself, and from myself.

Respect that I am a terrific wife, a wonderful lover, a fantastic cook, a loving person, a caring colleague, a true friend. Respect that I am a great girl, who deserves only the best from the best. Respect that I should never lower my standards, or give in to other people’s wants if I do not value them. Respect me for me.

Because I’m worth it!

August 28, 2011

Lesson 36: Get Outside Every Day. Miracles Are Waiting for You to Discover

by bye2mrwrong

“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light”

The world doesn’t know that I’ve just gone through a major disaster. That my life has completely changed, and turned upside down. That I married only to find myself divorced; that I gave my heart, only to have it shattered. That I left full of hopes, only to come back empty-handed. While my light may have been momentarily switched off, and I may be sitting in the darkness waiting for the dimmest of light to slowly reappear, the world continues to spin. The sun continues to shine, the flowers continue to grow, the leaves fall, and the wind gently whispers “Maybe it’s time to come out of your shell. Hiding away won’t make anything better.”

Being cheerless and gloomy, pessimistic and skeptic, distrustful and closed; shelters me in the most protective way possible. But it also hides me from the beauty that is out there. The world is full of surprises, grand and beautiful. Yesterday may not have been so good, but tomorrow is a new day that brings with it a glimmer of hope. Who knows what miracles are out there waiting to be discovered, what the stars have in store for me if I just believe. If I just get out there, keep riding the storm, and keep moving forward.

So while I’ve ruled out the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, and maybe even God. I haven’t ruled out wishing. I wish on stars. I wish on eyelashes. I wish on a penny as I throw it into a water fountain, I wish when I pluck a dandelion from the grass and blow its seeds into the wind. I’m wishing right now as I write this blog. Cause once in a blue moon miracles still do happen to those of us who are lucky enough. They happen without warning, when we least expect it, but desire it the most.

What miracle are you wishing for?

August 1, 2011

You Are In Charge

by bye2mrwrong

Lesson #20: When It Comes to Going after What You Love in Life, Don’t Take NO for an Answer

Lesson #21: Burn the Candles, Use the Nice Sheets, Wear the Fancy Lingerie. Don’t Save Anything for a Special Occasion. Today is Special Enough

Lesson #25: No One Else is in Charge of Your Happiness. You are the CEO of Your Joy

In three lessons Regina Brett, the author of this amazing book, has taught me that I am the master of my own happiness. It is up to me and me alone to make ME happy. It is my responsibility to create the life I desire, to pursue my dreams, to be happy.

Often we try to alter our internal state of unhappiness by looking toward the outside world for positive triggers to make us happy. But it’s not up to anyone else to make you happy.  Not your mother, your father, your spouse, your partner, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your kids, your boss, your colleagues, your friends, your horoscope. It’s up to you and you alone.

One “NO” should not cause our dreams to shatter, our hearts to break, or our hopes to crush. We should never surrender our dreams to someone else’s no. There are many bumps in the road but they should not stop us. And they should not control our happiness. So yes I may sometimes go back into feeling stuck, or look to the future and feel fear, I may be sad and gloomy about the present. But it is my choice to either wallow in self-pity or simply stop and ask myself what will make me happy now. Happy or miserable; it takes the same amount of time.

So should I wait for something or someone to make me happy?  Or would I be wiser to make my own happiness now? I think we all know the answer to that one. Don’t wait to do something special later, in a future that may never come. Life is short. The only time that matters is NOW.

July 11, 2011

Lesson #1: Life isn’t Fair, but it’s Still Good

by bye2mrwrong

Live life by two simple words: “Get to.”
Instead of saying: “I have to go to work today.”
Say: “I get to go to work today .”

These words should remind us to be grateful for everything we have, everything we are. For living. For being alive.

Life is good.
Remember it.
Say it out loud.
Repeat it.

After all, the alternative seems worse.

Life is good. Pass it on.

As for my own interpretation for this lesson, well divorce is no game. It’s not pretty or fun. It sure as hell doesn’t feel fair that this happened to me, and it also doesn’t seem amusing or even encouraging to look around and see happy couples holding hands while I’m still sulking in my miserable breakup. But it’s not the end of the world and there are worse things than divorce.  I’m healthy and I’m ambitious. I’ve still got brains in my head, and feet in my shoes. And I can steer myself any direction ill choose.

I truly believe that even if I do not see it now….life is good and it will be better.

July 11, 2011

50 Lessons to Find and Hold onto Happiness

by bye2mrwrong

One of my last days before leaving my old life behind, I met up with friends. I never really wanted to say goodbye, so it wasn’t really a party, or a going away. It was a small gathering, some drinks, a few chats, some laughs. But no goodbyes. Just a long see you later.

Friends passed by, said their hellos. Some brought just their pretty little faces (while I provided the camera, food and wine). Others brought small gifts for me to take along on the ride to my new destination, my new life. Things I might remember them by. I got a local magazine from a friend who wanted me to continue practicing the language. A recipe book from another friend so I can bake cakes and think of him at the same time. He always did love my cooking. I got some jewelry and a cute scarf from the fashion gurus among my friends. But the best gift of all (Thanks N & J) was a book called Life’s Little Detours: 50 Lessons to Find and Hold Happiness.

I’ve been engrossed in books, articles and blogs this past year, reading and writing have become my life. Romance novels and girly dramas.  Articles about marriages, statistics about divorce. Psychology digests, relationship columns, and blogs that range from infidelity to dating and love. And so this book seems like the perfect read for someone in my situation (and maybe in yours, dear reader). Someone once a hero, now looking to be rescued. Someone who finds themselves a little lost. Someone searching for happiness again. Someone who needs a little reminder, a small nudge, and a bit of help to feel good. Someone who has taken a little detour in life.

 And so waking up today in my new bed, new home, new life…I’ve decided that I will read, write and breathe these lessons while I share them with you, so that you too may learn these inspiring lessons of life.