Archive for ‘Holidays’

February 2, 2011

Uninvited

by bye2mrwrong

Whenever you break up with someone, you don’t just break up with one person. You break up with their family their friends and their dog.  It’s inevitable, sad and annoying. Now not only have you lost your other half, you lost lots of other pieces of you as well.

So now I have an ex-husband, ex-friends, and an ex-life I need to get over. OK, I lost a cat rather than a dog, and I can’t say it’s such a big loss to lose my husband’s family. But still for 10 years they were my “in-laws”.

After all when it comes to choosing sides, my friends and family chose mine, so its logical that out of loyalty, his friends and family would choose his (even though he screwed up). I mean no one can really stay neutral in such a breakup as this. It’s like saying you’re pro Palestine but also pro-Israel. That just doesn’t work.

Suddenly you are no longer invited to family events. On your birthday you no longer get phonecalls and cards, and the Christmas cards this year never arrived (must still be lost in the mail)…I have to say that since I wasn’t the one who had an affair; I never really got evil looks from his friends or family. But I remember the wound I felt in my heart when before we even officially decided to divorce, I was sitting at his mother’s house and noticed that she had already taken my picture off the wall. The Bitch! And I remember the twist of the knife when his father decided not to invite me to a family gathering. I had been officially uninvited. I felt rejected and alienated. I no longer had a family to rely on.

I knew then that from that moment on I was no longer welcome. I would no longer host family events, would no longer bake cakes, or buy birthday presents. I was no longer part of his family, or his life. The “we” that once was had become an “I”!

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December 28, 2010

All I Want For The New Year Is….

by bye2mrwrong

Every year before the New Year begins we make our New Years resolutions. Lists of outrageous declarations of what we want to accomplish in the year to come or habits we want to get rid of; lose weight, stop smoking, exercise more, drink less, pay off debt, save money,  be a better person, etc.

This year my goals are a bit different. I have no plan of action, and no strategy. Hell I’m not even sure my goals are achievable…but they are my little broken heart’s dreams and wishes to be fixed and mended, patched up and sown.

For 2011 all I want is:

1.       To be happily divorced

2.       To get over my husband without needing someone else

3.        To repair my broken heart

4.       To be with my family

5.       To find my Mr. Right

December 26, 2010

Happy Christmas-Birthday MOM!

by bye2mrwrong

Christmas is the time of year to be with the one you love, a time to be with family. It’s one of those holidays that everyone wants to feel the love, to give and share it.  It’s the time of year that people let their guard down and become unselfish and good even if just for a few days.

Here it’s been snowing like crazy with no signs of stopping and suddenly people have become generous and helpful. Something you don’t see so often any more.  So when cars are stuck in the snow, and wheels are spinning hopelessly, random strangers will get out of their car to help push. It’s amazing…LET IT SNOW!

But for me it’s not just Christmas. My great-grandmother was born on the 24th R.I.P. Her daughter, my grandmother was born on the 25th. And her daughter, my mother, was born on the 26th – that’s TODAY. So we have quite some family celebrations.

My mother has always been my best friend. We can talk for hours about everything and nothing. Or we can be silent together and still understand each other. We go shopping together, we get dressed up together before going out, and we swap clothes. When we go out people ask us if we’re sisters, which is a compliment for both of us. For her it makes her feel younger; for me this is the woman I want to look like. I want to talk like. I want to BE!

She is the reason I always wanted to have a daughter. So my daughter can have with me, what I have with my mom. This is the woman who has stood by me through thick and thin. Through every crush, every break up, and every broken heart (especially this one), she wiped away my tears. She made me strong when I was weak, and lifted my spirits when I was sad. She picked me up when I fell, and kissed my bruises until they healed.

She has always been my role model. This is the woman I idealize. She’s smart, and funny. She’s beautiful and strong. She’s a great business woman, wife and mother. She’s a great judge of character, full of wisdom and knowledge.  She’s a great listener, and good advisor. She’s caring and generous and the best cook ever.

So not being home this year, not for the holidays or my mother’s birthday, and also not having my husband around means I’M DREAMING TONIGHT OF A PLACE I LOVE. I feel that once again I miss out on another celebration, another family occasion, another lost day in the life of a loved one… WHAT A CHRISTMAS TO HAVE THE BLUES!

I DON’T WANT A LOT FOR CHRISTMAS,there is just one thing I need.  I don’t care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree…I just want to be with my mom, my dad, my FAMILY!

To all the other lonely hearts out there… HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS!

December 23, 2010

The Glue That Holds It All Together

by bye2mrwrong

Today I found out that Christmas won’t be the same without me. And the thought made me smile! Apparently both my husband’s parents (his mom and her husband, and his dad and his wife) have decided to go away this year for Christmas. Actually I should rephrase and say they have decided to RUN AWAY, avoid the problems, and escape what has become of this totally screwed up FAMILY!

They have left my husband, his brother and the Slut on their own. In my mind this is a little bit like Karma, some sort of sweet revenge. You made your bed, now lay in it… the three of you!

Christmas is a family holiday, but this family has fallen apart. I had known it all along, that I had brought this small family together, that I had been the glue. But the confirmation of it once again still makes me grin.

My husband will never admit to it, but before I came along his relationship with his father was practically non-existent, and although they live only 5 minutes walk away from each other, they only saw each other on birthdays.  But since I’ve always been a family person, I reconnected, I sowed and I mended until those two couldn’t go a week without a phone call.

I hosted and invited, not only on special occasions but on casual Mondays just because. I called and I cared. I took the ladies out for movies, and I joined them in their hobbies. I went over the top on birthdays, and held up long conversations with parents, grandparents and even distant uncles and aunts.

But now that I’m gone, it seems that things have returned to the way they were 10 years ago. And while they may have been happy back then to be secluded “each to his own”, I’m sure that after having tasted the sweetness of what it feels like to be a real close family, now that’s its gone they may just miss it a bit.

December 19, 2010

Family Secrets

by bye2mrwrong

You don’t introduce your secret lover to your brother when you’re still busy screwing her, right? WRONG!

So now that SHE was dating the brother, I had no other choice but to see her. She was now part of the family. And while my husband was never close to his brother before, their relationship suddenly blossomed, and surely enough we were spending lots of time together: movies, restaurants, Christmas dinners and New Years.

Ugh….The thought that I had hosted her, that I served her drinks, that I shared a few girly moments with her, still disgusts me. The thought that while we talked, she told me countless lies to cover up the truth, angers me.  And the thought that we shared my bed and my husband, still cannot leave my mind.

But back tracking to when I was still clueless…. even though she was dating the brother, and I shouldn’t have felt threatened, there was something wrong. I could feel it in the pit of my stomach. It seemed like every two minutes my husband was getting SOS phone calls from either his brother or her to help them save their new yet rocky relationship. No one kept me in the loop, something about TRUST issues, something with her past relationship(s). To be honest I wasn’t interested. I was just waiting for it to fall apart.

But when the phone calls became more frequent and my husband was spending more time at their place fixing their relationship rather than at home with me… I was getting quite annoyed. And when he ended up joining them on a week trip to her parents I was more than a little irritated. I was infuriated and flabbergasted. Why in the world would the brother want my husband to hold his hand as he met her folks for the first time? And why would she want my husband to be there, as she introduced her new boyfriend. And for the life of me I couldn’t understand why my husband would want to be the third wheel?

Little did I know what the problem was in their relationship that demanded my husband’s constant attention, mentoring and advice. It was only later that I discovered that the problems occurred when the brother found out about the affair those two had or were still having, a SECRET that was then kept in the family.

But since my husband has always been a good persuader, he managed to confuse his brother, blur his vision, distort the truth and manipulate him. He promised that what had happened was in the past and convinced him that it was over (otherwise why would he have introduced those two to each other). So the brother despite all the signs and signals staring him in the face, and due to his own weak personality preferred to pull the veil back down, close his eyes once again, forgive and continue on this rocky road.

Needless to say my husband did NOT mange to confuse me. As the signs became more evident so did my need to find the truth. Secrets are made to be found out with time, and as I continued to search I discovered that the affair that was supposedly over a few months ago was still happening, behind his brother’s back and mine; and with the encouragement and support of their mother (who is a story of her own).

What a family?

December 8, 2010

Life’s Little Choices – Yes, No, Maybe!

by bye2mrwrong

OK, I officially need help in making a decision. And this time I have decided to let my readers help me in making this choice. It’s not a question of life or death. But I’ve just never been good at making choices. And when I finally do make them, they seem to be wrong (evident by my poor choice in husband material).

Even as a child I was bad at making decisions. I’m talking about simple things here like picking between two identical shirts, one black and one white. My mother used to say to me “You’re not getting both; it’s one or the other, so make your choice”. Of-course, standing in the store for more than an hour without having made up my mind, most of the time I would end up leaving empty-handed. But by the time I was old enough to  things from my own money, I would just buy both, which means that almost everything in my closet has a duplicate.

But as we grow older, choices become more and more difficult. Every choice leads to an outcome. Every outcome has a consequence. And in the end we must bear the responsibility of the consequences of those choices we made. Which study do we pursue? Which job do we accept?  Where to live? Who to marry?

Today my choice seems simple enough… yet I can’t seem to decide what to do. Basically my (soon-to-be ex) husband has invited me to go with him on a day trip to a Christmas Market. It’s not that big of a deal but I just can’t seem to make up my mind if I should go with him or not.

Ok so you still don’t know the whole story or have a clear picture. But to make a long story short my husband and I are getting divorced (not on the best of terms) as he is still “friends” with his mistress which I of-course despise.

So why would he invite me to join him? Why is he even nice to me? These questions have been killing me, as I go over them in my head again and again. If anyone knows the answer, please share. Does he miss my company? Or does he just feel sorry for me? Or is he up to no good?

I know what you’re thinking: Why don’t you just go without him? Well if life was only that simple. Basically he’s offering me a free trip, out of the state, on his costs, with his car, and his mileage. He even said I could bring a friend.

So why am I torturing myself about this? Well I want to go. Christmas markets are fun. But going with him seems almost surreal. I’m always afraid to get attached again. To reminisce over what we used to have, what we used to do, how much fun it was…..

So I’m still left with the question…to go or not to go?

December 2, 2010

Wishing for a Miracle…

by bye2mrwrong

December has come upon us and with it so has the winter. Just like on my blog its snowing outside which means that it’s frrrreeeeeezing….

I love this time of year with its romantic festive season atmosphere. Winter sales are coming up, which means more shopping and more fun! Christmas markets whisk us to that enchanting winter magic as we walk around drinking hot  Glühwein. The radio is already starting to play cheerful Christmas songs. And it’s always so beautiful outside, roads covered with snow, making everything look so pure and clean. The fairy lights and decorations fill the streets outside, while fires are burning inside.

But this year, I feel the urge to complain! Not necessarily because its cold, and I look like a big bear all bundled up in my 4 layers of cloth and big coat every time I have to go out. And also not because yesterday I slipped and fell on the ice (I’m used to being clumsy now and then).

As the winter cold creeps into my bones, the cold reality hits me… out of 31 years, this year has been my worst year ever, and I am SO ready to move on to the next one. It seems only fair that 2011 will bring with it a better fortune. I feel that I deserve to get something good coming my way, after this long, depressing, lonely and turbulent year. (Here’s to hoping!)

The season holidays are upon us, and they seem to be making me even more sentimental, nostalgic and lonelier then ever. Today is the second day of Hanukkah the Jewish Holiday. This is a festival of lights in the season of darkness. It is about courage and hope in the toughest of times. A celebration of miracles, and I seem to be dreaming for a miracle to happen to me.

Christmas is coming up, and this of all holidays is the time to be with the one you love, with your family and friends. And I’m starting to wonder if I’ll be spending this Christmas home alone?

And then there’s the New Year, which has always been a time for looking back to the past, and more importantly, forward to the coming year. It’s a time to reflect on the changes we want (or need) to make.

So to everyone who’s feeling a little bit lonely and cold (like me); I want to wish you all the best for this season.  And here’s a little recipe for Glühwein that may warm up your heart:

· 1 bottle of dry red wine
· 3/4cup water
· 3/4 cup of sugar
· 2 cinnamon sticks
· 5-10 whole cloves
· 1 orange (squeeze juice and add peel)
· 1 shot Amaretto (recommended!)

Pour the wine into a large pot, add all spices and begin heating over low heat. Heat thoroughly, but do not allow to boil! Steep for about 10 minutes over low heat. Add more sugar or spices, if desired, stirring well so it dissolves.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

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· 1 bottle of dry red wine
· 3/4cupwater (or orange juice)
· 3/4 cup of sugar
· 2 cinnamon sticks
· 5-10 whole cloves
· 1 orange (squeeze juice and add peel)
· 1 shot amaretto (recommended!)

Pour the wine into a large pot, add all spices and begin heating over low heat. Heat thoroughly, but do not allow to boil! Steep for about 10 minutes over low heat. Add more sugar or spices, if desired, stirring well so it dissolves.