My Life in 20 Boxes

by bye2mrwrong

“Just when I  thought my life was coming together, I realized it was just starting to fall apart”

It’s funny how life sometimes takes you by surprise. You wait for something for so long, you know its coming, you want it to. You make plans, and pace around in anticipation. Your heart palpitates as you wait yet another second, another minute, another day. But when the moment is finally there you feel surprised, taken aback somehow. It suddenly hits you, and you feel like someone just pulled the floor beneath your feet. This is how I felt today.

Today the movers came to take my things. Tears streamed down my face as I watched them swiftly loading the boxes which have taken over my living room for the past couple of days. Within an hour everything was gone. My life disappeared right before my eyes.

I’ve been working very slowly and diligently over the past two weeks; procrastinating as I thoroughly packed the last 10 years of my life in 20 boxes, making detailed lists of what was tucked away in each one. Statistically that’s two boxes per year (yes I can do some math). And all it took was an hour to take it all away.

I don’t know how to look at it. From the empty half of the glass it feels like crap. In 10 years I have only accumulated 20 boxes. That’s not much. Does it show how little I actually spent on myself? Is this the reason why I may have never truly felt at home here in this house?

 From the full half of the glass I could say “Wow, that’s 19 boxes more than what I came here with”. After all I came here with only one luggage full of clothes. And I’m leaving with 19 boxes full of life experiences, and memories which have no doubt piled up.

While I may be on my way to a fresh new start; it’s sad to leave the place you called home for so long, the people you called your friends, the ones you thought were your family, and the life you built up. It is painstakingly hard to hand in the keys and say goodbye.

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9 Comments to “My Life in 20 Boxes”

  1. Change is hard even when its good. It usually takes my brain a little while to wrap around something new. I usually have to grieve the old for a little bit first. Its okay to be sad. I hate saying good bye. Hopefully in a few days you’ll feel settled in your new place and won’t feel so sad about leaving the old one.

  2. It is hard moving, but change is always good. It gives you a chance to start over, but you will always have those people you care about to run back to if you need them. Good luck with the move!

  3. Moving is hard. It’s an ending. But it’s also a beginning. I think it’s normal to feel sad about it. Soon you’ll get excited about your new beginning.

    Good post! Thanks for writing.

  4. Thank you Becca, Justlivelovelaugh, and Pat.
    I appreciate your support and encouraging words.
    I havent left the house yet. Living out of a suitcase until my flight.
    But I know it will be easier once I can distance myself from here, from him.

  5. Good luck. I know how you feel. I moved 5 months ago – in floods of tears! But I can truthfully say that despite my ups and downs and my occasional mega wobble – life is better now I’m somewhere new.

    Good luck. My thoughts are with you and hugs on your journey.


  6. Thanks Caroline.
    I will of-course keep updating my blog, and my supporters on my journey (hopefully upward), and on the breathings of my heart as i wobble along this new path.

  7. I hope wherever you’re heading now brings you some peace & happiness. Good for you for moving foward, even when it hurts.

  8. Thanks Jaclyn. To be honest, I dont really have a choice. I have to move forward whether I like it or not.And yes it hurts (still). I truly hope to be able to find peace and happiness, sooner rather than later.

  9. Starting over is always nerve-racking, but i think you have it right when you talk about the life experience and wisdom in those boxes, that’s worth much more than the things inside them. It’s a big step, but an important one and your heading into it with bravery. Your peace will come, you’ll feel a little more of it with each new day.

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