Analyze My Blues

by bye2mrwrong

I’ve been thinking lately about my choices in MEN. I don’t really have a lot of experience, after all I have been off the market for 10 years. But from my recent dating expeditions and maybe looking back to the guys I chose when I was 20…it seems that I definitely have a type.

Without a doubt it is obvious to see that externally my men are fair-skinned and blond. Not that I haven’t dated a few dark-haired guys, but usually when I look around my head spins at the site of a blond. I love somewhat long hair on guys, baby face, full luscious lips that just make you wonder how kissable they are, and blue eyes that can make you melt. If it seems like I am describing Brad Pitt that might not be too far from the truth. Admittedly he is my type.

If I could choose a sign, I would no doubt be drawn to the Scorpio men’s intensity, loyalty, obsessive nature, sexually insatiability and passion.

But what I’ve been more fixated on lately is the characteristics of the men I choose: sarcastic, and ridiculously smart, funny, flirtatious, charming, good drinkers, and outgoing. Some were passionate others less. But all were callow and emotionally detached.

So why am I choosing the men that I choose? Why am I flabbergasted when at the end I feel hurt, and lost; crushed when my expectations weren’t met? And how do I know that next time I won’t repeat the pattern?

Those questions make me wonder if our past hinders us or helps us move forward. I mean, if I know what type of men I have been choosing and I know that those men are no good for me, do I now go for the opposite even if I’m not attracted to that, only to avoid repeating the same mistakes and the same men?

11 Comments to “Analyze My Blues”

  1. I wouldn’t worry about the features/characteristics that make a healthy man attractive to you – I know there are charming, intelligent, intense blond men who are giving and emotionally mature. Maybe instead of going against type, you could develop a list of warning signals to avoid men who are shallow, callow, emotionally detached. On the other hand, is it the emotional detachment that attracts you – is it a challenge? In that case, you have work to do 🙂 I have been off the market for 31 years, and wasn’t on it for very long – so I’ve never actually thought about it!

  2. In other words you are attracted to the bad boys like a moth to flame, always fatal for the moth, not the bad boy.

    You need to just now make different choices not that you have done the introspection and self analaysis. Would it not be
    better for you to find guy who is attentive, romantic and emotionally available?

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

  3. It would definitely be better for me to find a man who is attentive, romantic, emotionally available (and a few other traits i can think of).
    If you know where they are, please send them this way 😉

  4. Hi – I think by finding out more about ourselves we are then able to make better choices. The attraction clearly has to be there but maybe also by being our true selves we also attract the better choices too!

    I’m probably not explaining this too well – but part of this is why I ran my mini-debate on my blog. My LC explains it far far better than I can!!

  5. I think you are better prepared to make a good choice next time around. I like Robin’s idea of a “red flags” list. I don’t think you will jump blindly into another relationship. Take your time. Get to know him whoever he turns out to be.

  6. you should try everyone and not set a type or anything!!hope you find someone that would change the genre of your writing, which by the way is amazing i love it! 🙂

    • Thank you Cold Rish for stopping by and for enjoying my writing. I’m guessing when you say different genre you mean something more happy and less “blue”. Well Charles Bukowski once said: “Writers are desperate people. When they stop being desperate, they stop being writers.”

  7. “Some people are settling down.
    Some are settling.
    And others refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.”

  8. When you look again from a distance at the men in your life and think honestly deep in yourheart, are they really the type you described or maybe love is blind? Are they all so clever and funny or is it that when you are in love every word coming from their mouth sound eloquent to your ears? Words of wisdom? Could it be that from the age you were 18, 19, 20 you just looked up at them???
    According to psychology 101 we actually do not have free will with whom we will fall in love. We are driven to look for the type that has the character of our father (for women), the one character, for good or worse, in him that influenced us mostly and left its mark on our soul as we grew up.
    Any way, could it be that your Mr. right has dark hair and brown eyes and he is just waiting for you to see him….

  9. One of the things we have to deal with, is that in viewing the opposite sex most of our choices are subconcious rather than deliberate. It’s not the same as dealing with a menu at a restaurant. Sometimes if your attracted to a bit of danger or adventure you can be moved by that only to find out later that adventure is better outside the home rather than in

  10. Youre right counting ducks. Those choices are subconcious. But when you start realizing that youre subconcious choices are leading you to all the wrong places, and wrong men…you cant help but wonder if you can conciously change.

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