Different Versions of Me

by bye2mrwrong

I read recently that every person has different versions of themselves. A woman for instance can have “the soft feminine version of her, the protective masculine side, the naughty sexy her, the adventurous her, or the fun-loving side”.

 It got me thinking… could it be that different people get to see different versions of me? My friends have all said that when they’ve looked they see me as a confident, intelligent woman. Sarcastic, but sweet. Not shy or reserved.  Talkative and flirtatious; courageous, sexy, a little wild, spontaneous and fun.

But it seems that when in proximity of an object of my infatuation I seem to lose my sense of self. I change for the men I like. I become weak, and let them control me. I organize my life around them.  And thus a new me is defined. Just as I mold myself to fit perfectly into their strong muscular arms, I change just a little to impress them and make sure that they stay for at least a little while. I make myself someone they could love, hiding my imperfections and  concealing my emotional side, trying to fit perfectly into their lives. So it’s no wonder I get the dates, I lure them in with my witty remarks, poise, and charm. But by the time the third date comes around I become someone who tries to please. I am a different version than the woman they encountered the first time.

If each version of me leads to a different outcome, a different future, a different love; I need to figure out which version of me will lead me to Mr. Right, rather than Mr. Right now.

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5 Comments to “Different Versions of Me”

  1. You fall victim to the trap that all too many women fall victim to, changing to try and fit the man. It is an act that can’t go on forever and then the real you comes out. Why not just be yourself? It is sort of like people putting 10 year old pics of themselves on the internet dating sites. It is a lie and the truth comes out and then people don’t want to be around you because you lied to them.

    Just be yourself and guys will fall in love with you.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John

  2. In your description of the different versions of women, you never mentioned a “people-pleasing” version, so don’t be that. Be yourself. Give Mr Right the opportunity to fall in love with the real you, the one that attracted him in the first place.

  3. Join the club. We all have different versions of ourselves which we bring out for different situations and circumstances.

    But we also have different versions of ourselves which we created in the past to protect us and care for us and because these versions were good at the time we hang on to them – when actually they could do with a software upgrade and maybe be binned altogether.

    Finding out about these versions, why we have them, what they were for and whether they are still needed is fascinating and what I’ve been going through in my LC sessions. BTW I’ve been recommended a brilliant book – see my post today for title.

    You’re doing great.

    Hugs

    xxx

  4. This is such a great insight. I have many friends that I watch date any guy that comes along, and adapt themselves to that person, rather than ever ASK themselves if this is what THEY want. It is so hard to watch! The key to true happiness is truly knowing how to be happy with yourself and being your true, authentic self. It´s only by doing that that you will attract the true match for you. You´re on the right path!

  5. I have been studying this about myself, too. Recently I have started going to a codependent support group. I find a person to resolve myself around, and they become my world. I don’t want it to be this way. It’s like once that guy is in my life, I make them most important, but there is a reason they were drawn to me in the beginning.

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