My Perfect Ring of Scars

by bye2mrwrong

I’ve been asked many times why I still wear my wedding band. My husband took his off a few months ago. Till this day I wonder if he did it because he met someone else, was told it was inappropriate, or maybe just because he didn’t want to be reminded of me every time he looked down at his finger.

I’ve talked to people who told me they took theirs off as soon as they realized that the marriage was falling apart, that it wasn’t worth anything. Me, I don’t want to take mine off. And if I don’t want to I shouldn’t have to, right?!

First of all, it was an expensive ring, and it’s stunningly beautiful. It took me and my husband months to find the perfect matching rings. We searched for it high and low, in 3 different countries, until we laid eyes on the just the right one.

Second, sometimes when I’m going out and I get hit on by ridiculously drunk, or just horrendously ugly, stupid or just not my type men; I lift my hand up and explain that I’m married. I know, I know it’s a little bit of a white lie since OK officially I am still married, but in reality I’m actually practically divorced. But it gets me out of difficult situation easily without breaking any hearts.

But it’s not the beauty of it, or even its practical use that keeps me wearing it. It’s also not because I’m still partly taken. Definitely not. It’s just that this ring is a reminder of who I used to be, of my life before. Of the man I chose and loved. Of the dreams I hoped for with him. It’s a reminder of the extremely young, innocent and naïve person I used to be, and the broken image of that person that is left now.

I’m not saying I will never take it off. Maybe one day I won’t have the need any more to be reminded. Or maybe I will be OK with moving forward, without looking back. And of-course if another man comes along and replaces this ring with another, then I guess I won’t mind.

But for now it is my perfect ring of scars.

5 Responses to “My Perfect Ring of Scars”

  1. When you are ready to take it off, I suggest that you have the sone set in a necklace and sell the rings for the gold content.
    I feel your pain. I actually liked my ring as well. I felt comfortable with it on.
    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

  2. You’ll take it off when you’re ready. It’s your choice. I put mine back on not long ago just to see how it felt. It was specially made just for me by a local jewelry artist. It no longer feels right on my finger. Don’t know why. I’m trying not to over analyze, just going with my gut.

    • I guess you’re right.
      For now I’ve only moved it to another finger. So its kind of like any other ring.
      And when the time is right, I’m sure I will remove it.
      Until then….it is my perfect ring of scars!

  3. I took mine off about 9 months after we split. I then put it back on for a while. Now I sometimes put it back on at night. I miss it there and I still have the mark on my finger – the indentation of where it used to be even though it’s over a year since I wore it for any length of time. It’s almost as if my body is saying this is not meant to be – not yet.


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