Victim of Love

by bye2mrwrong

The longer we dwell on our misfortunes
The greater is their power to harm us

Too often we assume that God should allow us to live without pain. We assume that we know what’s best for us. But we should never assume that we know God’s plan. For what may seem like a big and at times sad, painful or disappointing incident for us may be something small in the long line of chain-events which are meant to happen. It may be part of our destiny.

For a long time I’ve pondered why I deserved this fate? What have I done to warrant such unending pain? Who have I wronged? And why am I being punished?  I played the victim and I played the part flawlessly with a passion. The fragile weakling that got burned; shot through the heart, and stabbed in the back, through no fault of her own. Playing the victim role allowed me to gain self-worth, after all I did nothing wrong – I was the good guy. And it allowed me to gain people’s pity and sympathy.

In retrospect saying “poor me” kept me chronically passive, and powerless. And while that part, so easy to play, became me for some time, suddenly I realize that as long as I play the victim I will not be able to move on. I will not be able to mend my broken heart. Resentment has held me back; for we only resent people to the extent that we have given away our power to them. So now after a year of anger and resentment, with courage and pride I am taking my power back. I don’t want pity or sympathy. I just want to move on. So I am letting go of the victim role. And I have found it in myself to accept, forgive and forget. Forgive myself for being stupid and forget he ever existed.

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9 Responses to “Victim of Love”

  1. I think being the ‘victim’ is part of the healing process which we all have to go through. It’s the body’s self-defence. It’s there for a reason. As equally the body (mind) announces one day that enough is enough and asks or even demands ‘no more sympathy’. It’s a stage which you have gone through and come out the other side. Well done you. As equally he was part of your life for a reason. And maybe that reason was to help you find the true you within you. Though I totally acknowledge it would have been so much easier and nicer to have learnt via a different route!!! And I do know what I’m talking about – as you know!!

    xxx

  2. And in so doing you broke through to positive mental health. Would that ofthers would follow your example. I tell people that the world is full of broken people filled with rage looking to dump it on innocent people. You don’t have to own their negative treatment of you. Learn to see yourself through your own eyes rather than the eyes of others.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

  3. You continue to grow. You’re on a good track.

    Best,
    Pat

  4. Two words easier said than done “Move on”. There was a speaker who announced the audience with a joke, which every one laughed. Then he repeated the joke, a few laughed. And then when he said the same joke for the third time, no one laughed.
    He then said “When you can’t laugh thrice for the same joke, then why do you dwell and cry upon something that happened in your past”.

    P.S : I have written a piece on moving on on my post.
    http://dhaneshspeaks.wordpress.com/2011/03/05/move-on/

  5. I received a clear message from book that said “I am not a victim.” So I can’t play that card anymore. Being a victim makes us feel powerless but at the same without responsibility. It keeps us from taking an active role in improving our lives. We are only victims by if we decide to take that role.

  6. You are such a strong woman and I deeply admire your courage. I agree that we should never assume that we know God’s plan, but we can trust that His plans are good. I think you’ll inspire many people with your story. I’m excited to see how God uses you 🙂

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