Cheating the System

by bye2mrwrong

Today I got a second nationality. I stood in front of an audience including the mayor of this city and pledged my allegiance to this country. It was such a strange feeling. I’ve been here for 10 years. 10 years as foreigner. But today I am no longer that foreigner anymore. I am a proud and legal citizen of this country like everyone else.

I waited for this day for so long in anticipation; the day where I would have full rights in this country, the day where I would no longer be dependent on my husband to live here. And finally after immigration exams testing my society, language, and cultural knowledge, after filling many application forms, talking to countless officials, and paying hundreds of dollars, the day has come.

But expectations are a funny thing. There are no expectations without disappointments. And maybe this is the reason that today was not as happy a day as it should have been. I expected my husband to be there at my side as I got this notorious piece of paper. But it wasn’t my husband who was there with me. Instead it was a friend who came to support me, to take pictures of this glorious moment and to celebrate with me in this joyful ceremony.

And although a part of me was happy and even excited to a point where I did wipe away a tear or two; the other part of me felt a bit like a traitor. Maybe because this isn’t how I had hoped for it to be, or maybe because it no longer means to me what it did a few months ago. But somewhere deep in me I felt like I was cheating the system. After all, how ironic is it to get the nationality, the passport, the recognition now; right when I actually plan on leaving this country. Right when this country means nothing more to me, and all I want is to go back to mine.

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