Archive for December 8th, 2010

December 8, 2010

Life’s Little Choices – Yes, No, Maybe!

by bye2mrwrong

OK, I officially need help in making a decision. And this time I have decided to let my readers help me in making this choice. It’s not a question of life or death. But I’ve just never been good at making choices. And when I finally do make them, they seem to be wrong (evident by my poor choice in husband material).

Even as a child I was bad at making decisions. I’m talking about simple things here like picking between two identical shirts, one black and one white. My mother used to say to me “You’re not getting both; it’s one or the other, so make your choice”. Of-course, standing in the store for more than an hour without having made up my mind, most of the time I would end up leaving empty-handed. But by the time I was old enough to  things from my own money, I would just buy both, which means that almost everything in my closet has a duplicate.

But as we grow older, choices become more and more difficult. Every choice leads to an outcome. Every outcome has a consequence. And in the end we must bear the responsibility of the consequences of those choices we made. Which study do we pursue? Which job do we accept?  Where to live? Who to marry?

Today my choice seems simple enough… yet I can’t seem to decide what to do. Basically my (soon-to-be ex) husband has invited me to go with him on a day trip to a Christmas Market. It’s not that big of a deal but I just can’t seem to make up my mind if I should go with him or not.

Ok so you still don’t know the whole story or have a clear picture. But to make a long story short my husband and I are getting divorced (not on the best of terms) as he is still “friends” with his mistress which I of-course despise.

So why would he invite me to join him? Why is he even nice to me? These questions have been killing me, as I go over them in my head again and again. If anyone knows the answer, please share. Does he miss my company? Or does he just feel sorry for me? Or is he up to no good?

I know what you’re thinking: Why don’t you just go without him? Well if life was only that simple. Basically he’s offering me a free trip, out of the state, on his costs, with his car, and his mileage. He even said I could bring a friend.

So why am I torturing myself about this? Well I want to go. Christmas markets are fun. But going with him seems almost surreal. I’m always afraid to get attached again. To reminisce over what we used to have, what we used to do, how much fun it was…..

So I’m still left with the question…to go or not to go?