Archive for December, 2010

December 28, 2010

All I Want For The New Year Is….

by bye2mrwrong

Every year before the New Year begins we make our New Years resolutions. Lists of outrageous declarations of what we want to accomplish in the year to come or habits we want to get rid of; lose weight, stop smoking, exercise more, drink less, pay off debt, save money,  be a better person, etc.

This year my goals are a bit different. I have no plan of action, and no strategy. Hell I’m not even sure my goals are achievable…but they are my little broken heart’s dreams and wishes to be fixed and mended, patched up and sown.

For 2011 all I want is:

1.       To be happily divorced

2.       To get over my husband without needing someone else

3.        To repair my broken heart

4.       To be with my family

5.       To find my Mr. Right

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December 26, 2010

Happy Christmas-Birthday MOM!

by bye2mrwrong

Christmas is the time of year to be with the one you love, a time to be with family. It’s one of those holidays that everyone wants to feel the love, to give and share it.  It’s the time of year that people let their guard down and become unselfish and good even if just for a few days.

Here it’s been snowing like crazy with no signs of stopping and suddenly people have become generous and helpful. Something you don’t see so often any more.  So when cars are stuck in the snow, and wheels are spinning hopelessly, random strangers will get out of their car to help push. It’s amazing…LET IT SNOW!

But for me it’s not just Christmas. My great-grandmother was born on the 24th R.I.P. Her daughter, my grandmother was born on the 25th. And her daughter, my mother, was born on the 26th – that’s TODAY. So we have quite some family celebrations.

My mother has always been my best friend. We can talk for hours about everything and nothing. Or we can be silent together and still understand each other. We go shopping together, we get dressed up together before going out, and we swap clothes. When we go out people ask us if we’re sisters, which is a compliment for both of us. For her it makes her feel younger; for me this is the woman I want to look like. I want to talk like. I want to BE!

She is the reason I always wanted to have a daughter. So my daughter can have with me, what I have with my mom. This is the woman who has stood by me through thick and thin. Through every crush, every break up, and every broken heart (especially this one), she wiped away my tears. She made me strong when I was weak, and lifted my spirits when I was sad. She picked me up when I fell, and kissed my bruises until they healed.

She has always been my role model. This is the woman I idealize. She’s smart, and funny. She’s beautiful and strong. She’s a great business woman, wife and mother. She’s a great judge of character, full of wisdom and knowledge.  She’s a great listener, and good advisor. She’s caring and generous and the best cook ever.

So not being home this year, not for the holidays or my mother’s birthday, and also not having my husband around means I’M DREAMING TONIGHT OF A PLACE I LOVE. I feel that once again I miss out on another celebration, another family occasion, another lost day in the life of a loved one… WHAT A CHRISTMAS TO HAVE THE BLUES!

I DON’T WANT A LOT FOR CHRISTMAS,there is just one thing I need.  I don’t care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree…I just want to be with my mom, my dad, my FAMILY!

To all the other lonely hearts out there… HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS!

December 23, 2010

The Glue That Holds It All Together

by bye2mrwrong

Today I found out that Christmas won’t be the same without me. And the thought made me smile! Apparently both my husband’s parents (his mom and her husband, and his dad and his wife) have decided to go away this year for Christmas. Actually I should rephrase and say they have decided to RUN AWAY, avoid the problems, and escape what has become of this totally screwed up FAMILY!

They have left my husband, his brother and the Slut on their own. In my mind this is a little bit like Karma, some sort of sweet revenge. You made your bed, now lay in it… the three of you!

Christmas is a family holiday, but this family has fallen apart. I had known it all along, that I had brought this small family together, that I had been the glue. But the confirmation of it once again still makes me grin.

My husband will never admit to it, but before I came along his relationship with his father was practically non-existent, and although they live only 5 minutes walk away from each other, they only saw each other on birthdays.  But since I’ve always been a family person, I reconnected, I sowed and I mended until those two couldn’t go a week without a phone call.

I hosted and invited, not only on special occasions but on casual Mondays just because. I called and I cared. I took the ladies out for movies, and I joined them in their hobbies. I went over the top on birthdays, and held up long conversations with parents, grandparents and even distant uncles and aunts.

But now that I’m gone, it seems that things have returned to the way they were 10 years ago. And while they may have been happy back then to be secluded “each to his own”, I’m sure that after having tasted the sweetness of what it feels like to be a real close family, now that’s its gone they may just miss it a bit.

December 19, 2010

Family Secrets

by bye2mrwrong

You don’t introduce your secret lover to your brother when you’re still busy screwing her, right? WRONG!

So now that SHE was dating the brother, I had no other choice but to see her. She was now part of the family. And while my husband was never close to his brother before, their relationship suddenly blossomed, and surely enough we were spending lots of time together: movies, restaurants, Christmas dinners and New Years.

Ugh….The thought that I had hosted her, that I served her drinks, that I shared a few girly moments with her, still disgusts me. The thought that while we talked, she told me countless lies to cover up the truth, angers me.  And the thought that we shared my bed and my husband, still cannot leave my mind.

But back tracking to when I was still clueless…. even though she was dating the brother, and I shouldn’t have felt threatened, there was something wrong. I could feel it in the pit of my stomach. It seemed like every two minutes my husband was getting SOS phone calls from either his brother or her to help them save their new yet rocky relationship. No one kept me in the loop, something about TRUST issues, something with her past relationship(s). To be honest I wasn’t interested. I was just waiting for it to fall apart.

But when the phone calls became more frequent and my husband was spending more time at their place fixing their relationship rather than at home with me… I was getting quite annoyed. And when he ended up joining them on a week trip to her parents I was more than a little irritated. I was infuriated and flabbergasted. Why in the world would the brother want my husband to hold his hand as he met her folks for the first time? And why would she want my husband to be there, as she introduced her new boyfriend. And for the life of me I couldn’t understand why my husband would want to be the third wheel?

Little did I know what the problem was in their relationship that demanded my husband’s constant attention, mentoring and advice. It was only later that I discovered that the problems occurred when the brother found out about the affair those two had or were still having, a SECRET that was then kept in the family.

But since my husband has always been a good persuader, he managed to confuse his brother, blur his vision, distort the truth and manipulate him. He promised that what had happened was in the past and convinced him that it was over (otherwise why would he have introduced those two to each other). So the brother despite all the signs and signals staring him in the face, and due to his own weak personality preferred to pull the veil back down, close his eyes once again, forgive and continue on this rocky road.

Needless to say my husband did NOT mange to confuse me. As the signs became more evident so did my need to find the truth. Secrets are made to be found out with time, and as I continued to search I discovered that the affair that was supposedly over a few months ago was still happening, behind his brother’s back and mine; and with the encouragement and support of their mother (who is a story of her own).

What a family?

December 14, 2010

Friend or Foe?

by bye2mrwrong

“Keep Your Friends Close and Your Enemies Closer”

Every evening at dinner, my husband and I always discussed our work. We would complain about our jack ass bosses, gossip about our colleagues, tell each other the strange stories of the day, and laugh at the pathetic turn of events.

My husband had more than 50 employees working for him, most of which I knew, but once in a blue moon he would hire a new employee and tell me about them. And just like any other, one evening my husband told me about HER.  He had mentioned her before in conversation, but nothing worth taking notice of.  Now he decided to tell me more. She was from out of the country like me, around my age, and about to divorce. Her husband was one of those dull introverts with no social life, so even though she had been living here for 4 years, he hadn’t introduced her to anyone and she still had no friends.

After telling me about this new pathetic employee, he nonchalantly popped the question: asking if I could take her out. To try to convince me he told me even more:  She didn’t drink; she didn’t dance, was extremely shy and introvert, and really needed a girlfriend. So here I was thinking what the hell is the point? If I want a new friend I want one who’s a bit like me and shares MY interests. But if she doesn’t drink, then going to a pub would be quite boring. And if she doesn’t dance, then I might as well take my husband to a club; he could also just stand there, lifeless watching from the sidelines.  I felt like she was a volunteering project which was dumped on me and I had to play big sister.

While I wasn’t convinced I needed to get to know this girl, my husband invited her over anyway, to watch a movie at home with us. Strangely enough he chose horror, HER favorite genre and the only one which I absolutely HATE. But anything to be a good host, right?

Of-course the minute she walked in… I already had this bad feeling about her. Everything about her repulsed me. The way she talked so quietly it was almost like a whisper, the way she was so fidgety and scared as if I was going to devour her, the way she was already talking to my husband like they were best friends for years …

It wasn’t because I’m a jealous woman, but because we girls just have this six sense about other girls and their intentions. And we all know those girls! Their sweet, shy and timid manner may fool the men, but they don’t fool us. So when we meet a girl like that, we stay away, and make sure our men do too!

By the end of the evening I was completely convinced that I wanted nothing to do with her. But somehow in my husband’s twisted little mind he must have hoped that we would hit if off, become best friends, giggle together, maybe share a bed…

What was he thinking? Come to think of it what was she thinking? I can’t imagine ever wanting to meet the woman your lover is married to. Let alone try to become her friend. I understand now why she acted so antsy around me. It must have felt nerve wrecking. Not that I feel bad for her, don’t get me wrong.  The idea still freaks me out. Was she judging me? Scrutinizing what I looked like, how I talked, laughed, or dressed. Was she trying to become me? Hoping to one day take my place? Till this day this is still beyond me.

But since salvation didn’t come from me, and my husband could see that I wasn’t going to invite this girl every evening for dinner; he decided to do the next best thing to make sure she stuck around. He introduced her to his newly divorced brother!

December 11, 2010

The Emotional Rollercoaster of Divorce

by bye2mrwrong

If you’re going through a break-up or a divorce, and if you’re anything like me, you must have devoured all the articles, psychological digests, and relationship blogs there are on the topic.  And by now you’ve heard consistently that when you break up you go through pretty much 5 stages of emotions: Denial, Pain, Anger & Resentment, Depression, and Acceptance.

So having read about it for the zillionth time, I had half expected everything to go smoothly and precisely as all the articles explain. I wish I could say it was that simple for me. That the stages went exactly in that order without any hindrances or backlashes. That I could see the progression as I moved from one step to the next. But to be honest it wasn’t. Come to think of it, those articles never give a time constraint on these emotions, do they? So yes I went through those stages. But I went through them time and again, back and forth, repeatedly. Reliving the emotions I thought I had already passed over and over again.

I guess you could say that I was already in DENIAL long before I found out about my husband’s infidelity. In retrospect I can see now that I had been keeping my eyes wide shut, denying the truth for a long time. Spineless and afraid of what would happen if I confronted it, what I might lose. The signs were there, I just didn’t want to believe them.

Then when I finally did find out the PAIN was immense and it consumed me. Not only was it an emotional pain but it was physical as well. I was sick from disgust, I wanted to throw up, I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep.  I screamed, I yelled, I cried.

But unlike what you read about wanting time alone – for me it was exactly the opposite. I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted my husband to show me that he wanted to be with me. I wanted affection and love. Sure he had just given his love to another, but I wanted him now to give it to me. Now more than ever I wanted him to become what he never was before – affectionate.

And though you expect at this point to draw your lines, get angry, and say NO MORE, DENIAL crept in again when my husband first mentioned the D word. All I could think was “this isn’t happening to me”. I was not going to get divorced. Not for the life of me. Divorce was just not an option. I was going to fix this marriage, if it killed me. My husband would never really leave me. After 10 years together he would surely choose me over her.

But as the weeks passed by and there were no signs of repair, PAIN was slowly sinking in again. My husband was not coming to his senses, as I had irrefutably expected. I couldn’t believe that this was really happening. That after 10 years together, we couldn’t find a way to make it work. We couldn’t reach a compromise.  This time the pain was different. It stemmed from bereavement for the love I had lost, embarrassment for what had happened, shame that I couldn’t keep my marriage going, and hurt that I had been deceived. I felt like a failure. I was not a good enough wife, lover, or friend.

This time however, my pain was mixed with feelings of ANGER & RESENTMENT. At this point I was still not blaming my husband. It was not his fault. He was also a victim of this temptress. He had fallen into her spider web, through no fault of his own. I was mad at her, the girl who had stolen my husband away from me. And I was going to make her pay for it. Irrational thinking and violent ideas consumed me. I would wreck her car, scratch it, puncture the tires, or even loosen the wiring. I would tell the world who she was, and what she was capable of. I would make her ashamed to walk into work, to go to church, or even to look in her father’s eyes. I had many violent dreams and even hallucinations of choking her, of hitting her. Thoughts of seeing her and what I would do or say had become an obsession.

As time passed by I became bitter. I had been keeping this dark secret inside me for so long with no friends to share it with, no outlet to relieve the pain. I had become quiet and recluse. I had stopped calling my family, stopped meeting with my friends, afraid that I If did, I would let it all out.  The only people who knew now were my psychologist (who at the time I didn’t feel was helping as he was playing devils advocate) and my husband’s parents (who took a distant neutral stand, so as not to get their hands dirty).

Out of desperation, I began trying to negotiate anything and everything to try to save the relationship. I began compromising my true feelings. I asked him what I could do to change. What was he missing from ME in our relationship? I did everything in my power to please him. I took him out to dinners; I booked us a weekend get-away. I agreed that SHE could stay working with my husband, if he promised not to speak to her. We both knew this was not possible. I was being subservient and slowly I was loosing me.

But everyone has a red line that cannot be crossed, a point of no return, something that just jolts you out of your dream, and wakes you up. The affair had been my line, my border. We were standing right on it, wobbling from side to side. But I was trying so very hard to shut it up, to ignore it. Until he went too far, told another lie (bought the slutty red car) and pushed me over the edge.

At this point, I let everything out. And with that came relief; relief that no one was angry at me, or disappointed with me, or saw me as a failure. But with relief came the realization that the breakup was really happening and I was no longer in control. Had I ever been in control?

DEPRESSION brought with it more pain and sadness, more tears and feelings of loneliness and regret; regret for the things I haven’t done, or maybe did wrong. Questions like “Did I do everything I could?” “Is this my fault?” “Was I not good enough?” crossed my mind.

After depression came more anger, more resentment. My blaming finger was pointed at everyone. His dad for not talking some sense into him, his mom for having already taken my pictures off her wall, his brother for dating the slut (that’s another story in itself) and thus making sure that she was now an inseparable part of this family, and his friends for supporting him through HIS difficult time. I was angry at everyone and anyone that was even slightly on his side. But most of all my anger was directed at my husband. He had made the choice of having the affair, and he made the choice that he wouldn’t stop talking to his mistress, and he made the choice of continuing to lie to me. There was no excuse. Yes, she wasn’t a saint and had her share in the blame, but temptations are part of life, they always have been; and he should have just said no.

So where am I now? I’ve finally reached ACCEPTANCE. But even that has gradual stages, setbacks and at times allows pain and depression to creep in. It started with first accepting that his friends and family are HIS friends and family, and that they are there to support him, no matter what he did. Then came a higher level of acceptance. Accepting that maybe this is for the best; that maybe this affair happened so that I would open my eyes to the kind of life I was living. Finally see how I was really being treated. And now there’s the last level of acceptance. The one where I realize I deserve better, the one where I’m really moving on, going out, socializing and secretly excited for what lies ahead.

December 8, 2010

Life’s Little Choices – Yes, No, Maybe!

by bye2mrwrong

OK, I officially need help in making a decision. And this time I have decided to let my readers help me in making this choice. It’s not a question of life or death. But I’ve just never been good at making choices. And when I finally do make them, they seem to be wrong (evident by my poor choice in husband material).

Even as a child I was bad at making decisions. I’m talking about simple things here like picking between two identical shirts, one black and one white. My mother used to say to me “You’re not getting both; it’s one or the other, so make your choice”. Of-course, standing in the store for more than an hour without having made up my mind, most of the time I would end up leaving empty-handed. But by the time I was old enough to  things from my own money, I would just buy both, which means that almost everything in my closet has a duplicate.

But as we grow older, choices become more and more difficult. Every choice leads to an outcome. Every outcome has a consequence. And in the end we must bear the responsibility of the consequences of those choices we made. Which study do we pursue? Which job do we accept?  Where to live? Who to marry?

Today my choice seems simple enough… yet I can’t seem to decide what to do. Basically my (soon-to-be ex) husband has invited me to go with him on a day trip to a Christmas Market. It’s not that big of a deal but I just can’t seem to make up my mind if I should go with him or not.

Ok so you still don’t know the whole story or have a clear picture. But to make a long story short my husband and I are getting divorced (not on the best of terms) as he is still “friends” with his mistress which I of-course despise.

So why would he invite me to join him? Why is he even nice to me? These questions have been killing me, as I go over them in my head again and again. If anyone knows the answer, please share. Does he miss my company? Or does he just feel sorry for me? Or is he up to no good?

I know what you’re thinking: Why don’t you just go without him? Well if life was only that simple. Basically he’s offering me a free trip, out of the state, on his costs, with his car, and his mileage. He even said I could bring a friend.

So why am I torturing myself about this? Well I want to go. Christmas markets are fun. But going with him seems almost surreal. I’m always afraid to get attached again. To reminisce over what we used to have, what we used to do, how much fun it was…..

So I’m still left with the question…to go or not to go?

December 6, 2010

Happy Last Birthday!

by bye2mrwrong

The title may sound gloomy and depressing, almost implying that someone is about to die. No that’s not really the case, no one is dying here. But today it’s my (soon-to-be ex) husband’s birthday.

I won’t be celebrating his birthday with him; he’ll be doing that with the mistress. I wont be hosting the family for coffee and cake, or taking him out to a fancy dinner (something that had become a tradition). Still I can’t help but reminisce over the last 10 birthdays we spent together. The countless presents I got him, every year’s gesture bigger than the last.

The first year, a few months after I met him, I got him a few of those upside down bottle dispenser, which ended up being such a brilliant gift that he decided to build a whole bar in his house. The year later I bought him a beer tender (yes there is a trend here – my husband likes to drink). A few times I bought him jewelry – once it was a bracelet, which he still wears even today, and another time I got him a ring (which he took off just recently). When he turned 30 I bought him a 3 months subscription to a gym (so he would feel fit rather than old). For another birthday I surprised him with a trip to London, and there was also that time that I took him to a dinner + show at the stand up comedy club Boom Chicago.

So this will be the last time that I get to wish him a happy birthday. The last time I buy him a present. Actually it’s already wrapped and sitting on his desk waiting to be unopened, if he ever comes home.  I’m still wondering why I’m doing it. What has he done to deserve a present from me, a card, or even the slightest bit of attention? He sure hasn’t gotten me anything the last couple years for my birthday.

For me, birthdays have always been extremely important. Hell they only happen once a year and I go as far as making a list of who called me and who forgot. When I turned the big 3–0, a birthday I deemed extremely important yet dreaded at the same time, a birthday I wanted the most to not be alone on, and secretly hoped my husband would throw me a surprise party  with all our friends and family, he decided to leave the country. Of-course it was not until later that I discovered that this was exactly while he was in the midst of his passionate love affair.

And this year when I turned 31 and the weight of the world felt like it was resting on my shoulders, again I got nothing.  Not even a card. Because what can he give or say to the woman he was planning to divorce?

Me, I know exactly what he likes, and what will make him happy (even if it’s something small).  From a bottle of Malibu to help him fall asleep, to a pair of night socks to keep his cold feet warm at night, or even just a chocolate filled marzipan bar. I wonder if SHE knows that?

All I can say is that I have the urge to be good to him, regardless of how he treated me. Maybe it’s this need to show him what he’s going to miss when I’m gone. After all, only then will he start to miss those little things about me, who I was, and what I did. And maybe just maybe, he will finally regret the mistakes he made, and appreciate what a good thing he had and lost. I know it will be too late, but the thought that he might one day MISS ME somehow gives me a bit of satisfaction.

December 2, 2010

Wishing for a Miracle…

by bye2mrwrong

December has come upon us and with it so has the winter. Just like on my blog its snowing outside which means that it’s frrrreeeeeezing….

I love this time of year with its romantic festive season atmosphere. Winter sales are coming up, which means more shopping and more fun! Christmas markets whisk us to that enchanting winter magic as we walk around drinking hot  Glühwein. The radio is already starting to play cheerful Christmas songs. And it’s always so beautiful outside, roads covered with snow, making everything look so pure and clean. The fairy lights and decorations fill the streets outside, while fires are burning inside.

But this year, I feel the urge to complain! Not necessarily because its cold, and I look like a big bear all bundled up in my 4 layers of cloth and big coat every time I have to go out. And also not because yesterday I slipped and fell on the ice (I’m used to being clumsy now and then).

As the winter cold creeps into my bones, the cold reality hits me… out of 31 years, this year has been my worst year ever, and I am SO ready to move on to the next one. It seems only fair that 2011 will bring with it a better fortune. I feel that I deserve to get something good coming my way, after this long, depressing, lonely and turbulent year. (Here’s to hoping!)

The season holidays are upon us, and they seem to be making me even more sentimental, nostalgic and lonelier then ever. Today is the second day of Hanukkah the Jewish Holiday. This is a festival of lights in the season of darkness. It is about courage and hope in the toughest of times. A celebration of miracles, and I seem to be dreaming for a miracle to happen to me.

Christmas is coming up, and this of all holidays is the time to be with the one you love, with your family and friends. And I’m starting to wonder if I’ll be spending this Christmas home alone?

And then there’s the New Year, which has always been a time for looking back to the past, and more importantly, forward to the coming year. It’s a time to reflect on the changes we want (or need) to make.

So to everyone who’s feeling a little bit lonely and cold (like me); I want to wish you all the best for this season.  And here’s a little recipe for Glühwein that may warm up your heart:

· 1 bottle of dry red wine
· 3/4cup water
· 3/4 cup of sugar
· 2 cinnamon sticks
· 5-10 whole cloves
· 1 orange (squeeze juice and add peel)
· 1 shot Amaretto (recommended!)

Pour the wine into a large pot, add all spices and begin heating over low heat. Heat thoroughly, but do not allow to boil! Steep for about 10 minutes over low heat. Add more sugar or spices, if desired, stirring well so it dissolves.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

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· 1 bottle of dry red wine
· 3/4cupwater (or orange juice)
· 3/4 cup of sugar
· 2 cinnamon sticks
· 5-10 whole cloves
· 1 orange (squeeze juice and add peel)
· 1 shot amaretto (recommended!)

Pour the wine into a large pot, add all spices and begin heating over low heat. Heat thoroughly, but do not allow to boil! Steep for about 10 minutes over low heat. Add more sugar or spices, if desired, stirring well so it dissolves.

December 1, 2010

Slutty Red Car for Cheating Husbands (Part II)

by bye2mrwrong

Holding the keys to my husband’s brand new slutty red car (which I can only assume held memories of wild sex with his mistress in the back seat) I was outraged and furious. My heart was beating so fast I thought I was having a heart attack. I could almost see the steam coming out of my ears.  And at that moment, I could have ripped out his heart. Once again my husband was cheating on me, only this time with a car. I couldn’t take it anymore, the lies, the deception. This was really low! He had pretended he didn’t want another car, because he had already bought one, he bought HERS!!!

Turning to the mechanic, I smiled politely and told him that my husband would drop by later to PAY the bill.  Then I walked over and put the key into the door lock and stepped into OUR new car. Looking around inside the car, it didn’t really have my husband’s feel to it; it looked more like a race car, with black and red leather seats. Nothing like any car he had before. But it already had his stuff in there, his deodorant, his favorite mints, and a sweater I hated because I’m pretty sure he bought it with HER, lying on the back seat.

How stupid could I have been? How did I not see this earlier?
How stupid could HE have been? Did he really think he could hide a car from me?
And how could he choose a car over our relationship?

After sitting in the SLUT car for what seemed like eternity, I decided on my next plan of action. I turned on the engine and drove away. In my mind I had come up with the most devious plan. I was going to hide the car somewhere, so that when my husband would come to pick it up, there would be nothing for him to find. The idea seemed brilliant. After all as a married couple, the car belonged as much to me as it did to him and I too had the right  to drive it, sell it, or even put it on fire!

So that’s what I did….I drove the car into the middle of nowhere, stepped out, and started walking back to my own car.  As I reached my car and drove away to work, I felt alleviated. I had tricked the trickster; beat him at his own game. It was genius.

Well it was genius for the next 20 kilometers, when all of a sudden anxiety and worries flooded me. Once again my heart started pounding, and I could feel the adrenaline causing me to sweat. Could I do this? Was it allowed? Was it even legal? Could I be charged with theft or destruction of property?

So with these new thoughts and fears in my mind, I turned back around and drove all the way back, picked up the car and returned it to the car garage, where it had initially stood. But I did not return the keys to the mechanic I took them with me and headed home to confront my CHEATING, LYING, DECEITFUL HUSBAND!

At home, my husband was peacefully asleep (probably having dreams of his wild sex escapades with his slut). Quietly, I walked into the bedroom and woke him up.

Holding up the keys of OUR new Slutty Red Car in my hand, as soon as his eyes were open I said: “I know about the car. So I hope you enjoy it. You can have it; you can have the other car, and your motorbike. You can have all 3 vehicles to yourself, I’m leaving!”

That was it; I had nothing more to say. No more energy in me. Not to fight or yell, complain or beg, or even try to convince. I was all out of cards, exhausted and just done with it.

I put the keys to HIS new car next to his bed, turned around and walked out the door. As I closed the door shut behind me, I heard him call my name once, maybe twice. But what could he say that would make it alright? What explanation could he give that would make me turn around?

That evening, I booked a one-way flight back to my home country, to my parents home. After 3 months of keeping this awful secret inside me, it was time to face up to the truth and tell my parents that my MARRIAGE was OVER!