Is He Cheating On You? Trust Your Intuition!

by bye2mrwrong

When I first found out my husband cheated on me, I was outraged, I was fuming. I had not seen this coming – not in a million years. My husband? The one who said he would always talk to me if anything was wrong? The one who had been cheated on in his previous relationship, and told me how it crushed him? It couldn’t be true. I couldn’t believe it. But there it was staring me straight in the face, proof beyond any reasonable doubt. My husband was having an affair!

I was alone at home when I found out, snooping on his computer, after months of trying to convince myself that it couldn’t be true. I was just being paranoid, just being stupidly jealous for no reason. The girl I suspected him of having an affair with was just an employee, just a NEW employee which was SMSing my husband 10 times a day, morning and night. It was normal, right??? She had questions about the new job. She needed him to guide her. To mentor her. But who was I kidding? It wasn’t normal. In the 10 years I’ve known him he never SMS’d so much, not even with his best friend.

I’ve always been 100% trusting, never snooped; I never even opened his mail, or answered his phone. I respected his privacy. But now I could tell that something was not quite right. I just couldn’t put my finger on it. But I had this crazy hunch, a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. A feeling I could no longer ignore. Call it an instinct, intuition, or a woman’s sixth sense. What ever it was I couldn’t push it away any longer, I just had to find out.

So one Sunday afternoon, when he was out, I decided to stop tormenting myself with the thoughts and the suspicion. I decided it was time to act. I knew what I was doing was morally wrong. I was about to spy on my husband, invade his privacy. But I had no choice. I just had to do this, to quiet my nerves. So I logged on his computer and searched.

To my surprise, I didn’t even need to look too far, or too long. There it was in his e-mail folder, a file with her name. Adrenaline rushing through  my body,  I clicked on the folder only to unravel 100’s of e-mails he had received from her in the past month. Some with pictures, some just dirty text, some love poems, and some saved chats. I was sick with disgust.  The evidence was unbelievable. It confirmed the thing I was dreading the most. My husband was cheating on me!

So what’s my moral for today? If you’re feeling suspicious…you probably have been given a reason to feel that way. In general your gut has a way of being incredibly accurate. Your body is warning you, trying to keep you safe. So ladies and men if in doubt don’t turn a blind eye – trust your intuition!

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13 Responses to “Is He Cheating On You? Trust Your Intuition!”

  1. You’re right. Go with your gut. I wish I had snooped earlier.

  2. It sounds like you’re making problems yourself by attempting to clear up this issue rather than looking at why
    their is really a difficulty within the 1st place

  3. Dear Lida,

    I’m not sure what you mean. The only thing I did (in this case) was try to reveal the truth.
    Without the truth there is no way of either clearing an issue or even figuring out where it comes from.

  4. Bye2Mr.Wrong,

    I think the question Lida is trying to ask is what made you suspect him in the first place? Was your relationship struggling for a long time before this?

    Did he change towards you? Did he ignore you more or less? Intuition is triggered by something different even something unseen.

    • Well basically I started suspecting when his behavior was different than the usual. I mean the phone texting was just getting out of control. I had never seen him so close to his phone before. And this new “friendship” with a new employee was also quite strange. He’s had many new employees before, but never did his invite them over, or talk to them so often. And of-course when i did see how he was with her there was something just not right. It was the awkward hug goodbye, or the strange remarks, or the play fighting.

      Our relationship, in my eyes, was good, until she came along. We were only married for a year, had gone on vacation together. We were leading pretty much the same life we had been for the previous 8 years. To me it all seemed fine. But of-course in retrospect I see that it wasn’t (and probably never really was). I started maturing and having wants and needs of my own (big house, children)…and I guess the more I had my own desires and he couldn’t CONTROL them anymore, the more he was pulling away.

  5. I remember when my one ex was basically having an emotional affair with his ex-girlfriend before me. I trusted my intuition, snooped and found tons of e-mails between them.

    The next [ most recent ] ex, I had an enormous hunch that he was cheating on me as well. I just couldn’t prove it.

    Sure enough, a month or so after he fucked off back to his Mommy and Daddy’s [ I convinced him to go because he became some kind of freak and an asshole ] I found out from all of my old co-worker’s that he had sex with a girl that I want to knock out every time I see now.

    You are so right. ALWAYS trust your gut instinct on that kind of thing.

    • Recently I started realizing that trusting my gut is right for almost anything.
      Whether to share a secret or not with a friend, and which friend to share it with.
      Whether a friend will stab me in the back or not out of jealousy.
      Whether that shirt in the store is exactly one that my dad will love despite everyone else hating it.
      Seriouly I’ve never realized how much I should rely on MY own gut insticts rather than what other people say or think.
      If only I would have done it earlier. But better late than never.

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