Archive for November 20th, 2010

November 20, 2010

Divorce Statistics – Was it Doomed to Fail?

by bye2mrwrong

Thinking about it now, I never really had a chance. On average, statistics show that approximately 40% of marriages end up in a divorce. And even worse 50-60% of newly weds divorce within the first five years of their marriage. That’s more than one out of three marriages doomed to fail. I am one of those statistics!

What’s worse is finding out that the likelihood of failure increases with certain factors such as having:

Divorced parents – Yes he does
Mixed religions – Yes we did
Lower education – Yes he does
No children – None that I’m aware of
Infidelity – Yes he did  – and that’s the one that just pushed the total off the edge and raised our likelihood of failure to 100%.

So had I just done my math a bit earlier I would have already foreseen the results, turned around and fled while I still had some sense in me.  But no one ever thinks  “this is going to happen to me!”. We stand at the altar and say “till death do us part” – not “till divorce do us part”!

So how do we know when we’ve found Mr. Right? Or if were heading for disaster with Mr. wrong? Is there some formula to getting it right? I don’t know about you but the least I can say is that I’ve learned a lot from this relationship. I learned  exactly what I DO and even more so what I do NOT want in my man. And I’ve made a list, so hopefully next time around I might just get it right. He should be educated, from a good family, he needs to have the same values and beliefs as me, a desire to have children, should be romantic, shouldn’t have a background of cheating….and the list goes on and on and on.

But am I being too demanding?
Do I compromise on my new set standards?
Where do I draw the line?

November 20, 2010

Hello World!

by bye2mrwrong

This is my blog and today I am coming out. No I’m not gay. I am super straight and totally in love with men. But today I am coming out with the truth.

I am getting DIVORCED! YES the marriage I had, the way of life I thought I had designed for me, the plans and dreams have all crumbled. And even I, a strong believer in love, and in marriage – could not make it work.

So its time to fess up and tell the truth. Why have I been hiding it for so long. What am I ashamed of. After all I did nothing wrong, except for letting myself be fooled. Except for trusting blindly with all my heart, and loving unconditionally.

I allowed myself to define who I am based on a man. But today I become a free woman. Free of this life. Free of these thoughts. Free to tell the truth and be me.

My divorce is tough. Not that there are any easy divorces, are there?! Let me briefly explain. I’m in a different country to my own, away from my family and friends, I lost my job… oh and did I mention my husband’s mistress is still in the picture?

So after months of tears, anger, and depression I’ve decided to create this safe space where I can share, and mostly complain (about my husband, his mistress, or even my lawyer who is taking his time and my money) without being judged. From this day forward this will be my place to vent, cry, laugh, yell and comfortably let out my feelings.