Time Heals All Pain…

by bye2mrwrong

…but for some it may take a little longer.

As it snows once again on the pages of my blog, I suddenly realize that it’s been more than a year since I’ve been blogging. More than a year since I’ve been writing, sharing my deepest feelings and my inner-most thoughts. More than a year of hurting, crying and then bleeding it out on these pages in dire need of support, of a listening ear, sometimes in need of more.

Only a few months ago this was my canvas and I needed my words spilt across it like blood. I was an emotional wreck, out of control. And in an attempt to fill the pain of lost love, I drowned myself in wild nights of dancing filled with men and rum. I am not sure which one I consumed more of…either way, it never seemed enough.

Time, it changes everything. Just a few months ago I was a mess. Today… today I woke up and as I sat up in bed and saw myself in the mirror in front of me, I noticed that I was alone. I smiled sadly at the reflection and pondered at my new reality. Only a year ago I would have woken up in his arms. Feeling warm, comforted, and secure.

Thankfully the thought did not linger long. It’s not that I’m over him. But I guess I’m adjusting to this new life. I cannot say that I do not think about him. His name crosses my lips at least once a day and he is often present in my thoughts. At times I just wonder what he’s doing, or how he’s doing without me. And when I feel particularly lonely,  I ruminate if I would have been happier with him right now.

Mostly I allow my mind to remember only the good which makes me reminisce. But once in a while a waft of bad memories come flooding into my mind. And then I wonder if it’s truly him I’m missing or just the feeling of being in a relationship and of being loved. Cause “maybe, just maybe, the best thing we can ever do is admit and accept that someone isn’t right for us. Even if at one point, we swore they were Mr. Right.”

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10 Comments to “Time Heals All Pain…”

  1. I feel your pain. Having someone to sleep with is the worst thing about
    being single. I just sleep better spooned up to a woman that I carea about
    with my arm around her holding her very tight. I also love waking up next
    to someone I care about. I even used to set the alarm clock a half hour
    before we had to get up to have morning cuddle time. What a great way
    to start off the day instead of hitting the ground running.

    I will pray for you to find Mr Right if you pray for me to find a Ms Right.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John

  2. HI
    You’ve come a long way both mentally and physically since this time last year. I was wondering the exact same thing the other day. Is it him I miss or just being part of a couple? My LC encouraged me to think the latter. To remember that my Ex showed me no respect so how can I really miss him – and I don’t, not the way he is now.

    May 2012 bring us all the person who is genuinely the Right one for us.

    xxx

  3. Funny how I seem to be at the same stage. A year ago, we were still together but getting dangerously close to the end. I am miles better than in early 2011, but still not over the grief for who I thought I shared my life with. That man is dead somehow…And like yours, my yearning is turning less and less towards him than towards a relationship with the right person.
    As Caroline said, may 2012 bring us all the right one, and at least a whole lot of happiness
    x

    • May 2012 brings us happiness, and if it comes in the form of a man…then i hope this man is wonderfully caring, devoted, honest, appreciative and all the things we want for ourselves, and would want to give in return from ourselves. X

  4. I enjoyed reading this post, bye2, and realizing how far you’ve come.

  5. It’s such a long, hard journey. When you start out you always envision what place you will be in in 6 months, a year, 2 years… and it’s so hard to imagine you will ever get there. You have made so much progress, you are definitely calmer- that is so evident in how you write now. It is also something worth celebrating. Eventually the rest will start to fade too and you wont think about him as much.
    All the best for 2012!
    S

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