Because I’m Worth It!

by bye2mrwrong

“Everyone goes their own path. Some are just beginning while others end all too soon.  The path you’re on, the choices you make, they define who you are.

Choices, they are the building blocks of our lives. They shape our past, present and future.

Every new day brings with it new choices and a whole new world of possibilities.

Recently I was told that it’s time to start anew, to walk a new path, to build a new life. To reflect on everything that happened and figure out what I’ve learned. To apologize to the people I’ve wronged for hurting them, and then to apologize to myself for hurting me. For letting myself down, for belittling myself, for believing I didn’t have any worth.

Most importantly I was told it was time to decide what changes I would like to make in myself, and then make them. But as much as the idea sounds simple at the same time it is so hard to grasp. What are the changes that I want to make? The question still overwhelms me and the only thing I can think of is how much I just want to be happy. That’s the change I want to make.

But how do I do that when I’m not even sure what has prevented me from being happy? No one is really standing in my way. No one but myself. Only my own thoughts and fears have kept me from moving forward. My own choices have prevented me from letting go of the past and the pain that comes with it. It has been my stubbornness that has kept me holding on so tightly to something that no longer exists. To a memory, of a past that once was; to that illusion of the future that never will be. To a ring that keeps me bonded to him.

So after thinking hard about this, staring at my reflection, and digging layer after layer, I’ve realized that what I want to change is the way I view myself. My worth, my value, me. I realized that when I get flattered by someone for something I’ve done, or sometimes even for just who I am, I usually say “thanks but….” Or l humbly laugh the remark away. But it’s not the humbleness that has pushed flattery aside, it’s the lack of self worth, lack of confidence in me. I never see myself as gorgeous, just pretty. I never think of myself as genius, just smart. I never believe I have unique qualities, just regular ones like any other person. I never think I’ll exceed, just succeed. I never think I’m remarkable, just average. I never think I’m better, just good. So I’ve decided what I want is respect. For myself, and from myself.

Respect that I am a terrific wife, a wonderful lover, a fantastic cook, a loving person, a caring colleague, a true friend. Respect that I am a great girl, who deserves only the best from the best. Respect that I should never lower my standards, or give in to other people’s wants if I do not value them. Respect me for me.

Because I’m worth it!

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9 Responses to “Because I’m Worth It!”

  1. Kudos to you on this valuable piece of introspection.
    I only wish that I was 30 years younger and I would
    be pursuing you.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John

  2. B2MW,

    I always have felt like I had a healthy respect for myself and a clear view of my strengths AND weaknesses, and was very comfortable with who I am…and then came a series of events two years ago that created chaos and insecurity in almost every area of my life, culminating with my husband’s affair, that smashed that confidence. I too am finally regaining my confidence, and trying to look clearly at those areas of insecurity that I didn’t even realize that I had.

    Honestly, realizing that my husband forgot who I was, that he had stopped recognizing those aspects of me that make me who I am, threw me into a tailspin and created doubt about my own reality – who was I really, was I delusional? My view of myself, my confidence really has always come from the inside, from a personal sense of worth and my husband’s affair still managed to tear it to shreds. I suppose that is why real recovery from infidelity requires the help of a therapist, counselor, or coach – someone on the outside who can help sort reality from delusion…

    I’m so glad you are feeling stronger. i hope we both continue to grow and to blossom :)

    Robin

  3. I agree with Robin. I too lost all confidence and belief in myself. I clung to my past, my vows, my belief that what we had was so special……….. all those things and more.

    For me Life Coaching was what did it for me. He helped me re-find myself – the me that I love and I respect.

    I hope we all continue to find our inner strength and the people we are within.

    Hugs
    xxx

  4. I think you are spot on, and we all battle with the same demon of low self confidence. I think it’s a pretty normal reaction after being shunned by someone whose judgement we valued (our respective husbands), it is only natural…
    But you’re right, no-one is going to see all that’s wonderful about any of us if we don’t.
    This is for all of us (I couldn’t resist) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0XAI-PFQcA

    • And yet as much as I saw all the wonderful about me…..seems my ex didnt see it. Well at least not when he was busy cheating.
      I lost confidence in me only after he cheated, re-gaining it is hard. Although I’m no longer sure which underlying personality is stronger within me, the confident woman, or the insecure one. I guess it depends on the moment or the day.

  5. I think we have to love ourselves before anyone else can love us. I don’t know where I heard that but it rings true.

    Upward and onward. Good job, bye2.

    • Thanks Pat.
      But I have to say I dont really agree. I still think that we can learn to love ourselves while we let someone else love us. The two do not have to be mutually exclusive. There’s always more to learn. But we can also learn it from our partner/ lover.
      I dont know I just have a really hard time beleiving that sentence, even though I’ve heard it many times.
      And yes i know that its easier to let someone else in, once you yourself are whole….. but half the time were never whole, and yet we find someone to complete us.
      I wonder if that made any sense….

  6. Hey bye2
    There is nothing wrong with viewing ourselves through the loving eyes of another.
    Never underestimate the healing power of the human touch, especially if they
    have their arms wrapped around you real tight.

    Blessings
    John

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